For several years now, our homes have been under unusual stress and strain. Many Christian homes have been broken up and many problems have arisen as to how to keep the home above the tide of the times so as to protect and preserve it. The church has a task right at this point and it may be called upon more and more to help as the circumstances of the immediate future present themselves. The training which the young people of the present generation have received will be reflected in the homes of tomorrow.

A wise marriage is one founded on Christian ideals and principles. If the husband and the wife are both Christians, the life of the home established will run along much smoother than where one or both are not followers of Christ. Furthermore, the children of such a home will have a much better chance of being what they ought to be—believers in Christ and good citizens. A pretty face and popularity will not meet all of the requirements in the building of a home.

The consideration of others is a basic requirement for a home built upon a good foundation. The home may be regarded as an enterprise just as a business is regarded. No business on earth would ever succeed if the partners were continually trying to harass one another. So it is with the home. There will be times of trial and times of distress perhaps, but if each considers the other and works with that consideration in mind, that home will not break apart. Real and abiding love must therefore be fundamental.

Co-operation is important in the matter of successfully maintaining a home. Like interests are basic at this point. If both the husband and the wife are active in the work of the local church, co-operation will be present in that phase of activity. Working together in one thing will make for co-operation in other things. If the ideal is to make the home a sanctuary instead of just a service station, then co-operation to that end will produce harmony and accomplishment. Christian marriage is one of the greatest institutions of life. If all marriages were truly Christian, most of the troubles of our society would disappear. But Christian marriage is not limited merely to a wedding ceremony performed in a Christian church or by a Christian minister. It begins with that but goes on throughout the lives of the parties concerned. It is the carrying out of all the Christian principles in a very definite way, for nearly all the problems of society, simple or complex, are represented in family life.

The family circle is a miniature world and even international affairs have their family counterparts. Selfishness, cruelty and economic problems are found in international, national, state and family affairs. One can begin the practice of practical Christianity at home from every angle. When family affairs are conducted like some international affairs—full of bluff and treachery, there is bound to be trouble. And when international affairs are handled along the lines of a Christian family there will be world peace.

Naturally, however, the emphasis must be upon matters of courting if we want to learn how to marry intelligently in Christ. A great deal of guidance is necessary if young people are going to escape the rocks of grief and disappointment that come when you become one with your spouse. A wise youth will take heed to the suggestions and guidance offered him by those who have passed through and can look back on what he is passing through at present. There’s no substitute for experience.

The term courtship is not as frequently used as it was in the past, yet we practice courtship daily, only under different names. Courtship is defined as the process of seeking to win another person in marriage. In the usual manner, a young man sets out to win the hand and heart of a young woman who seems to sum up in her own being all the sweetness and virtues of woman-kind and possess them in the superlative degree. When the young woman is found to be a good prospective wife people say he is making a good match. But when it is generally agreed that the young man merely imagines all these fine things, people may remark that love is blind. Yet, blind or open eyed, love makes its way through this world and nearly all of humanity comes to the marriage altar at one time or another.

Courtship has come in for a lot of joshing, but it is still a fine old custom for Pentecostal marriages and will last until the last man has married the last woman. The choice of a life partner involves more of happiness or sorrow for us than any other choice in our lifetime. Marriage is a life contract. The wedding ring is a token and a symbol of the wedding covenant. It is a token in that it is made of the purest and most precious metal and we are told that the bitterest acids cannot dissolve it, nor the hottest fires change its nature. Through our lives we’re subjected to the bitterest acids of adversity and the severest heat of prosperity, yet the quality of affection may be as the metal of the ring—unchanged.

True love binds hearts together into a partnership that is enduring and abiding. Every person who really cares for happiness wants his marriage to be a success. Often marriages fail because of that which came before them, the love and courtship of the premarital period. Every lasting relationship must have a sound beginning and a sure foundation on which it can build and rest. Among the bases for true love are common interests, respect for one another, and mutual affection and concern for one another.

The first stage of the marriage starts with the planning and introduction of the families. Like before majority of the marriages are no longer ‘arranged’ in nature, i.e. the marriage fixed by the parents. These days the number of love-marriages is on a rise in which the groom decides his bride and vice-versa then the families interact and look for a suitable day for the marriage to take place. In general, Sikh marriages are arranged in nature, only if both the bride and groom are ready.

The marriage ceremony isn’t a long one; it involves revolving around Guru Granth Sahib, four times while Lavan is recited. When they complete the process they can be declared as a married couple. Many people do not understand the reason for revolving and believe it is a tradition that needs to be followed and has no real meaning. When a man and a woman revolve around it means they commit to each other with the Guru being witness. Each of the 4 revolves have their own meaning.

The marriage ceremony begins with the groom being asked to sit first and then the bride is asked to sit to the left of her to-be husband. While the prayer and the rituals starts the couple and their parents are asked to stand while the rest of the guests watch being seated. After the couple and their parents agree, starts a short hymn. The prayers are followed by the bow of the married couple in front of Guru.

In Sikh marriages, Guru Granth Saheb is the core and Sadh Sangat refers to the support. Sikh marriages generally take place in the bride’s home or the Gurdwara or any place where Guru Granth sahib is installed. There are guests present when the marriage takes place both from the bride’s family as well as the groom’s family.

Just as the ceremony wraps up and the couple is married, the speech of the parents and well-wishers make up an excellent affair. The speeches are mainly targeted towards the newly-married couple. With wishes from the parent and well-wishers, the auspicious day ends with some celebrations. Sikh marriages have some traditions to be followed before and after ceremony such as singing by professionals, ancestor worship etc. Any Sikh marriage isn’t complete without these traditions being followed.

For the newly married couple, the marriage results in a single soul in two different bodies. The commitment is believed to be for life and according to the Sikh traditions divorce is not possible, as it is sacred bond between two people.

Pre-Wedding Rituals

Ashirbaad (Giving blessings) – On this auspicious day, all the elders from the bridegroom’s family visit the bride to bless the bride and the members of the bride’s family go and bless the groom. Trefoil and husked rice are sprinkled on their heads. Gold ornaments are presented. This ritual implies that the boy and the girl have given their acceptance for the wedding.

Aai Budo Bhaat (Party for Bachelorette) – A lavish party is thrown by the relatives and friends of the bride. It helps in fostering community feeling.

Holud Kota – This is a ritual wherein odd numbers of women (either five or seven) gather to grind turmeric and smear the paste on the bride. This helps in adding a glow to the bride’s complexion.

Dodhi Mongol – The bride’s hands are adorned with traditional bangles. This is performed by seven married ladies at the dawn on the marriage day. Typical traditional bangles the Shakha and the Paula – one red pair and the other white bangles are worn by the bride. The bride is fed only curd rice on this day.

Main Wedding Ceremonies

Bor Jatri (Marriage procession) - Bright and new clothes are worn by the groom’s family before proceeding to the bride’s place.

Bor Boron – When the procession reaches the bride’s place, the bride’s mother ushers them and sprinkles the husked rice and trefoil. They are then offered sweets and delicacies.

Potto Bastra – Once they reach the wedding canopy, the groom is presented with new clothes by the person who is going to perform the sampradaan (gift from the girl’s side to the groom).

Saat Paak (seven rounds) - The bride is made to sit on a pidi (low wooden stool). Her brothers lift her and circle the groom seven times. This implies that the bride and the groom are wound securely for an entire life time as well as for seven births.

Mala Badal (Exchanging garlands) – After they have completed the rounds, there is exchange of garlands thrice.

Subho Dristi (Exchanging glances) – After exchange of garlands, the next ritual is when they are made to take a look at each other in front of the invitees.

Sampradan – The bride proceeds to the Chadnatolla. A relative of the bride, an elderly male places her hands on the groom’s hand. Their hands are then knotted with the sacred thread and Vedic chants follow. Their hands are placed on the brass pot which is filled with water and mango leaves. A green coconut is placed above the brass pitcher.

Yagna (Sacred fire) – Both the groom and bride are seated before the sacred fire and vedic chants are chanted by the priest. It is believed that the God of Fire (Agni God) is present to witness the marriage.

Saat Paak (Seven sacred rounds) – The couple complete the seven rounds and the marriage is solemnized.

Anjali – (Offering made to the Fire deity) – The bride’s brother places the puffed rice in the hands of the bride. It is offered by the bridegroom who is standing behind the bride. This is offered into the fire together.

Sindoor Daan and Ghomta (applying of red vermilion on the bride’s forehead) – The bridegroom applies the sindoor on the bride’s hair-parting. She wears the new sari gifted by the groom and covers her head.

The bride then proceeds to her new home along with the groom and his family.

Praying to Gauri
After taking bath and dressing up, the bride offers her prayer to Gauriamma (Goddess Gauri) to grant both her and her husband peace and prosperity.
Kaasi Yaatra
The bridegroom pretends to go on yatra.  He is given a walking stick and other simple necessities for proceeding on the yatra.  The bride’s father intervenes and then requests the groom to get married to his daughter.
Paada Puja
The bride’s mother washes the bridegroom’s feet.  The bride is taken to the marriage dais by her maternal uncle.
Exchanging of garlands
The bride and bridegroom exchange garlands thrice.  Colored rice balls are thrown in all the four directions to ward off any evil spirits.  They are made to sit on the oonjal (swing) which is decorated with flowers.
The bride comes adorned in her traditional saree.  The groom ties the mangalsootra (yellow sacred thread) around the neck of the bride.  The marriage has culminated.  The couple is escorted to the venue and they are shown the polestar and the Arundhati star.  They are offered a sweet drink (made of jaggery, black pepper and cardamom in water).

In the next few weeks, we hope to bring you a vast among of articles on marriages from all the cultures of the world, from Islamic, Christian, Jewish, Hindu to Yoruba traditional marriage.