Keep romance alive even after Valentines’ day

It can be stressful preparing for Valentine’s Day with the one you loved. Choosing chocolates, picking flowers, getting restaurant reservations, and deciding on activities for the most romantic night of the year can take a lot out of any man or woman. One way to relieve a lot of that stress is by making sure your spouse or significant other feels the same kind of love all year long, then on Valentine’s Day all you have to do is amp it up a little to make the day special.

Plan regular, romantic outings with the one you love. This can be done weekly, monthly, or even just sporadically as a surprise. Take your significant other to the place you first met as a surprise, and re-create your first date together for a super-romantic option. Or, plan something simple. Just go to a movie together, followed by drinks or dessert. Everyday activities are fine, such as dancing, enjoying a concert, or even window shopping on an afternoon out, as long as you two are together, and alone, regularly.

Another way to show your undying affection throughout the year is with little surprises. Send flowers to your wife’s or girlfriend’s workplace, “just because.” Make sure there’s no special occasion tied to the flowers being sent so she never expects it. She will be the talk of the office, and so will you as a wonderful other half. Women can surprise their men as well – just not with flowers. Send a box of nice cigars, balloons, a present (maybe relevant to work or hobby), or even a box of cookies, fruit or snacks that he could share with others in his workplace, if he chooses. Either of you can just make your other half a special lunch full of extra things with a sweet romantic love note just to brighten their day.

If your budget is tight, you can still show your love. Surprise your significant other with a home-made dinner at your place, complete with table settings and candle light. Greet your mate at the door with his or her favourite drink, then enjoy a meal together complete with soft music in the background and warm conversation, call it a date night and make an effort.

Even everyday activities can be made romantic. Instead of popping a movie into the DVD player and settling in for the night in two different chairs, playing on mobile phones or tablets, focus on one another. Make a weekly, electronics-free date night where you choose music to listen to or even playing scrabble or a board game to do something a little bit different together. It is important to share experiences with each other alone to rekindle the spark your relationship had in the beginning.

Trying something new can be a great way to spend some time together and share fun experiences. If it is something you are both novices at then this is better you will be learning from each other and your experience at something new together will help you bond. Try attending a new class together like golf for beginners, car engine workshops, art, music or drama. Just for fun and the thrill of finding new things to talk about, try and possible enjoy together.

Finally, there are the “big ticket” items – the things you can do if you have a little money to spare. Lavishing your loved one with gifts constantly will take away some of the surprise effect, but it’s something you should do occasionally, if you can afford it. Surprise your wife with a necklace she has been eyeing in the store, just because it’s Wednesday. Give your husband a nice wallet, watch or cuff links. Experiences are also good. Whisk your lover away to see his all-time favourite sports team play and stay in a hotel, or take her to the spa for a weekend getaway.

With some planning and a little bit of effort, your loved one will know he or she is loved all year. Valentine’s Day will then just be the icing on the cake, and a lot of the pressure involved in that special day will be removed once and for all.

Author bio:
Rebecca is a fashion student who has aspirations to design her own wedding gown collection and run her own specialist wedding boutique. To look perfect on Valentine’s Day, consider hiring a Fashion Consultant or to help you create the perfect proposal consider one of these exquisite diamond rings from Samara James Jewellers to pop the question with.

Gift Giving in Relationships

To begin with, treat early anniversaries very lightly. This isn’t to suggest that you should ignore them, or that you shouldn’t be romantic – but going too far over the top for a one or two month dating anniversary can definitely send the wrong message, and even scare your partner away! Again, the specifics depend more on the nature of your relationship, but for an early, playful anniversary try to keep things thoughtful but simple – perhaps some flowers, a nice date night, or something inexpensive that you happen to know your partner wants.

Once you have been dating for about 6 months or so, you can begin to classify the relationship as something a bit more serious, and something that is moving more quickly. At this point, whether specifically to mark the 6 month anniversary, or if a birthday or other gift-giving event comes up, you can certainly begin to try larger, more meaningful gifts. At this point, not only will your partner probably be expecting a bit more, but you will also be at a more appropriate point in the relationship at which to display greater affections. When you truly want to give meaningful gifts, it is sometimes a sign that you are ready to.

Finally, there are the gifts that say you’re in it for the long haul. This may be appropriate in under a year, or perhaps if you’re taking it more slowly after a couple of years. That choice is yours. But at a certain point, a serious, binding gift is always a big step in a relationship. Generally, this is a good point at which to consider something like valuable jewellery, or perhaps even something that sends a specific message, like eternity rings at 77-Diamonds. While you may well have given the gift of jewellery before, if you want to give a gift that states your intentions and says you’re serious, upgrading to something truly valuable may be a good move.

Of course, ultimately, the timing and nature of your gifts is entirely up to you. However, this is something that a lot of people in relationships tend to take a bit too lightly, and that can certainly backfire. While there is no need to be paranoid about the gifts you get for your partner, always keep in mind the message your gift sends, in addition to the physical gift itself.

Easy to guess, when dating online, at least with the first chats, you only benefit from those 7% of potential liking regardless how many photos you have uploaded on your profile. This happens because you evaluate your interlocutor upon all the observations combined, therefore seeing one’s face in a photo is very different from seeing that person’s face while developing a conversation.

Considering that it is hard enough to make yourself accurately perceived and avoid misunderstandings with virtual interactions, embracing the wrong attitude would not make you even more harm? Below presented would be some potential pitfalls that you can get into, whenever interacting on social networks, regardless if you are interested in finding love, making friends or just having some free casual fun.

Up or Down

 It is healthy to think positive about yourself and avoid negative self-appreciations. However, thinking too much about yourself or too little makes you bad publicity. So avoid sayings like “immaculate appearance” even if you think you look gorgeous or “out of shape” even if you are overweight. Balance is everything and you do not want to be perceived neither as obsessed about yourself, nor as with serious self-esteem issues.

Whatever is fine to me

Supposing you are asked what romance means to you and you say “Everything is romantic when I am with the one that I love” it is just like saying “Whatever”. Instead of answering with something that really represents you, you chose something too general, potentially indicating your lack of interest, your lack of fantasy or your lack of strong personality. None of them are good; use your brain to say things that individualize you.

Showing off with your money

 This will help you catch one’s eye, yet probably not the one you were hoping for. Whenever you upload photos with you in fancy restaurants and clubs or when you present yourself as successful whatever, you risk attracting the wrong kind of attention.

Showing off with your boobs

 … or with any other hot body part of yours. If you are really looking that good, everyone will notice in no time, without you making extra efforts. Just remember that any sexual connotation on your profile description, profile photo or first conversations will rather create you the image of an easy to serve fling.

Here is what I want

 What you want should only be suggested, not specifically presented. If you keep insisting with the “I want” you will end up just wanting, not having. So refrain from emphasizing the expectations you have about your online date, just go with the flow. You will soon find out just how much you can get when leaving aside your initial expectations.

 The thing is that you will most likely get to hear them long after your relationship will evolve from a simple virtual romance to a long term commitment. In the meantime, you can be sure your partner will not tell you the first worst impressions.

 So here are a few hints of what people usually do not tell each other on first dates, for you to anticipate and avoid with both interactions on dating websites and real life dates.

 You are driving me crazy with your job

 It often happens to those who are either workaholics and accidentally realized that they need to start hanging out with the opposite sex or to people who normally do not have passions or anything else in their daily life other than work, TV and sleep. It can also be a third option – people who are less talkative and have little inspiration with maintaining a catchy conversation – they may also feel comfortable talking about their job. But too much of it will annoy your date. If you get hints like “anything interesting in your life lately?”, you really need to move on to a next conversation topic.

 You are driving me crazy with your ex

 This one happens to those still frustrated about their last breakup. Keep talking about your ex when you just met someone online will make you look like you are either not ready to get involved in a new relationship or on the verge of developing an obsession. Either way, you must stop it. Maybe your partner will be supportive enough to tell you things like “I don’t mind you talking me about your ex, I’m actually interested in anything important in your life” you still do not have the right to abuse of such a tolerance.

 You really seem desperate

 Do you seem like you are not going to let your date ever go home? Are you overexcited about your virtual flirts and chats or your first real night out? Then you look desperate, which will tell your date that you have chosen him or her out of desperation, not real interest, and that you will make his or her life a hell by always seeking for attention.

 You kind of look a little slutty

 With more success odds on people desperate to refresh their love life, looking slutty is often an accident. You are afraid you have little to impress with and start showing more body parts than you should. Maybe you mistakenly spill perfume on you or you use tons of makeup, the thing is you will most likely worry your date rather than impress.

 Motivations

 Everyone knows his or her personal motivation when entering the fascinating world of WWW in search for romance or just casual flirt, but it is interesting to go for the motivations that drive each of the two sexes and that happen to be a little different.

 To summarize, women generally prefer internet dating for the possibility of being selective with potential partners. We have said it before: they see it as browsing a catalogue with single guys on promotions. They want to analyze and then make a choice while taking all the time they need. Men on the other hand just try their luck for the reason that they have nothing to lose, which is not really encouraging for all the single girls, but it still works.

 Turn ons and offs

 Differences were noticed on this chapter as well, only that we would like to start with the things we have in common: women and men decide what singles to approach depending on the things they have in common. After all, it seems that guys don’t just skip reading a profile and jump to the part with drooling on photos. So pay attention to the things you write on your profiles.

 And since we are here, also pay attention to the photos you select, because 14% of all women and 17% of all men interviewed reject users with no profile photo.

 Now read on for some other facts you need to know:

• Women consider honesty as the most important personality trait and men prefer sense of humor
• Women want to date men with ages as close as possible to theirs while nearly 30% of men want women younger with 2-4 years
• Women are either less chattier or have less initiative because men exchange a lot more messages as opposed to them
• Women generally want dinner and wine while approximately 18% of men would just have a drink on their first real date
• Women lie less about their age as opposed to men: 8% vs 13%

 Money, money, money

 A partner’s salary matters to only 19% of the surveyed men and to 43% of the women. However, 45% of men defined the ideal salary of their new date somewhere around 21.000 – 30.000 pounds while 55% of women have expectations of 15.000 – 20.000 pounds a year.

 Conclusion

 Judging by the entire above, it is obvious that some of the shallow misconceptions with regards to both sexes have been dismantled. And it can only make us happy, with all these indicating that online dating can be an even more satisfying experience.

Denying the reason why you are there

We got used to read all sorts of funny dictionaries indicating vocabulary differences between women and men. With men it was every time just the same – they always say what they mean. Women on the other hand seem to have a talent in giving different meanings to simple things and guys are annoyed that they prefer declaring they are dating online just for a dare or just for fun when, in fact, they really hope to find at least a virtual romance.

So just be honest and tell the real reason of why are you there. Instead of acting shocked if one would tell you he just wants to have sex with you – because men can come as clean very often – send back a sincere answer.

The falsely kind negativity

 Is there such thing as kind negativity? One of the best examples is when a woman posts on her profile something like “I am looking solely for serious people, I am not interested in wasting time with endless messages that take us nowhere or with men looking to get laid. If you are one of them, do not waste my time or your time. Thank you and please read on if you do not correspond to the criteria.”

It may come from past sentimental disappointments and represents, in a way, her method of protecting from men she is not interested into. However, all men can feel offended and interpret it as negativity combined with arrogance. After all, we all have our criteria when choosing a partner, only that presenting them so aggressive and falsely condescending is not helping.

Shocking expectations

 It does not have to represent all women, but the thing is that many have the tendency of planning their wedding day even after a first successful real date. Men on the other hand expect to keep their options until they decide to make it official. So women becoming jealous because their dates continued going out with some other women in the meantime or kept being active on the website where they have met is a big turn off.

Bottom line

 Men generally prefer for women to be realistic and honest, to just take the things as they come, to give it a try and only later to start making plans and being possessive. While it is true that we act differently, we can still make some compromises. Most important, we must never forget that there is a long way from the first virtual encounters to the thrilling dates letting you know that a relationship could start from there.

 All men are advised to pay attention as these ideas can help them better understand what women want and how to approach them in order to increase their success of getting a real date out of it.

 The age issue

 More and more women who passed over their first youth find it difficult to discover a man from the millions of singles available for the reason that, according to them, men are always interested in younger women, from 20 to 30 years old tops. How can you compete with that? For things to be even more interesting, many young women involved in a relationship with older men are accused of doing it for their money, which means that older women are forced to chose from potential partners who are not only older, but also less wealthy.

 So to the men out there who disagree with these fears of single women, go prove them they are wrong. Money or age should not make a difference in love which is why online dating can help everyone get to better know each other and realize the potential of developing at least a beautiful friendship if not a long lasting romantic relationship.

 The pressure of hooking up instantly

 Another common complaint is that men are always rushing and trying to skip steps, making women to experience the pressure of just hooking up. Adding to this attitude, the fear that women have about dating someone they know little about, having success when you insist on meeting someone before bothering to have a few talks, exchange private messages, discuss on the phone or see each other on a webcam is very unlikely.

 Smokers have less success

 While it is true that there are many women who smoke nowadays, those who have managed to stay away from this habit have the tendency to reject smokers. Their explanation is that they are sure a guy cannot care about them as long as he does not even care about his own person and keeps poisoning himself like that.

 It does not mean you should quit smoking, but only that you need to know that your odds will be reduced, so do not act too surprise.

 Bottom line

 It turns out that even in a fast paced world when it comes to love women want a man with a slow hand. So if you stop annoying them with coffee invitations from your introductory message and at least pretend you are willing to take things one at a time, internet dating may prove an even more pleasant experience for both women and men. Finally yet importantly, showing the real you is what should open you the door towards the right date.

Consequently, it makes us think that we would want for our new online match to be somewhere on our “friends list” on Facebook. Some want it because they are accustomed to interact with their friends and colleagues inside the network; others because they are anxious to take a peek on their date’s profile and find out extra information.

But precisely because people have this tendency to expose a considerable part of their life on social networks, making such an invitation to someone you just met online can be scary. So when would it be the right time to Facebook someone you have beginning to have a virtual romance with?

What is the worst that can happen?

 Making this step can either end well or very bad. You may be lucky enough to find someone that doesn’t make abuse of all the applications available on the network and that does not fill your wall with wacky posts or your news feed with posts that will desperately want you look for a “dislike” or “ignore” button. In this happy scenario, you will get to take advantage of everything you see in there to know your partner better and have a lot more inspiration during your chats or with regards to proposing for a first real date.

But what if you bump into a rather compulsive person that will flood your inbox, send friend requests to all your best friends, start making all sort of tacky comments and give you a terrible daily Facebook experience?

The good news however is that there is still a good part even in this worst situation: you will find out faster that you have made a mistake and move on to a new potential online better half.

What should you do?

 You can either wait, or resort to a trick. If you are willing to wait, it should be for about a few days, to convince yourself there might be a spark. Anyway, no friend requests from your first chat, but preferably after you had the chance to talk on Skype or Messenger.

As for the trick, ask a friend of yours to add that someone on Facebook – of course, after you were removed from his or her list so that the connection will be harder to make – and scoop from a distance. If you like what you see, you can take the plunge to make the invitation to your online date.

However, it would be advisable to ask the consent before proceeding, even if you have discovered his/hers account on your own.

 USA and UK are two of the countries where these services are most successful and, according to the statistics that most reputable online dating websites conducted in these area:

• 42% of the American couples formed by partners aged in between 26 and 35
• 21% of the British couples formed by partners aged in between 19 and 25

have met on the internet.

 Are online profiles what they really seem?

 It would be impossible for so many people to rush getting married with partners whose profiles are not what they really seem. At some point, the mismatches will enter into the spotlights and this would happen long before a wedding. Nevertheless, the famous Dr. House’s line – “everybody lies” applies, in a particular manner, even here.

 It is not about huge lies designed to scare everyone away, but rather about the general tendency of beautifying the truth when trying to find a partner on the internet – partner that, in a first instance, will only know about you what you reveal.

 What are we tempted to beautify?

 For a virtual relationship to develop, one would have to impress with words and photos. While people who use online dating do not pretend having jobs they do not have, they can still round up financial incomes. And it seems that men are more likely to state higher financial retributions. Speaking of higher, they are also known to claim being taller than they really are. Women on the other hand will want to shape their extra pounds.

 As for the photos, they cannot just be Photoshopped. Some seekers resort to such gestures, yet their attempt is unveiled with the first visual contact, which does not have to be on a real date, but also on webcam. The easiest thing to do in this direction would be to choose the photos that make you look at your very best.

 As online dating researchers discovered so far, women are considered more attractive and get more dates when looking flirty and watching straight into the camera, while men make a better first impression with mysterious snapshots projecting them while looking away from the camera.

 What is the moral?

 The moral would be that dating online should be taken step by step and the encounters on specialized websites to be used mostly as a starting point. Everything you consider about your potential date should be perceived through long chats, online or on the phone, with various approaches up to video calls. In this way, everyone will have more chances to know a lot better the people they want to have a relationship with.

What happens with the “I”

 There are three potential answers to this question. What can happen with the “I” from your relationship is:

• Stays open minded and discovers new passions – the two partners are willing to embrace everything from their lover, therefore they support each other at any time. She goes with him to horse races and he goes with her on yoga classes.
• Gets a freed schedule – the two partners are not willing to give up on anything from their personality and allow each other to separately continue their activities. He goes with his friends at horse races and she goes with her friends at yoga.
• Total metamorphosis – one of the two embraces most of the passions and habits of the new partner by giving up on his or hers.

What should happen with the “I”

 Every new relationship, regardless virtual romance or real life experience, should not monopolize your life. Letting someone in is about sharing things, not having all your things taken away. So you need to balance the first two options.

Researchers discovered that intimacy is indispensable for maintaining a harmonious relationship. However, they also find giving space to each other as vital, recommending at least one evening per month spent separately.

Being supportive is great; attending to all your partner’s activities is suffocating. So take time for yourself as often as you need and hopefully have a partner to understand your needs.

The first signs that you are taking it wrong

 Some people simply have an easy to mold personality, particularly those who work, watch TV and sleep. They will embrace their partner’s passions as they do not have their own hobbies.

Others just fall head over heels for someone and are desperate to convince that someone they are perfect for them by showing interest in their passions. This theory leads us to the fact that the first signs that you are on the verge of letting the “I” escape from “We” is when you start lying about yourself or hiding things that actually represent you.

Supposing you just met someone you like on an online dating website and you begin chatting. Do you find yourself lying about enjoying things you have read in your date’s profile? This is the first and most concerning clue.

Every new relationship should start in fair terms otherwise you will end up forgetting who you really are and what you enjoy. There will be no “I” left and if the relationship ends badly, you will feel like your whole life just went away…