Despite how hurt you may be, the time will come when you want to date again. After a break-up your self esteem may be low and you might be nervous about dating. This is normal for any single parent.
When you feel ready try to get yourself out and meet new people. You don’t need to date anybody but getting to know other people will help you feel more confident with the opposite sex.
Will your children like who you are dating?
This can be difficult but it can be overcome. If the kids are under 6 then it will probably be easier. Teenagers can be difficult especially if they have a strong bond with their mum/dad. The best thing you can do is reinforce that you love them and that the new person in your life is not a replacement for their mum/dad.
Abatement is the main fear any child has when you meet a new partner. Act quickly to reinforce your commitment to them. Tell them they are and always will be your number one priority. You also need to let them know you are entitled to date again and that this is normal.
Best time to introduce your new partner?
This is a common question asked by any single parent. You need to ask yourself – do you see a long term future with the person you are dating? Does your partner see you as long term? You need to look at the relationship and judge whether you should introduce this person. Put your kids first. If you experience any violence or abusive behaviour from your partner then you need to end the relationship immediately. It is the same with drug or alcohol abuse. It is better to finish with that person and try to find somebody more suitable. Don’t take any risks with somebody who is not suitable.
How do you introduce your partner to your kids?
Don’t make a big thing about it. Go for something simple and fun. Don’t put pressure on your partner, that will just make them nervous and the kids will pick up on that. Don’t expect your kids to instantly like your new partner, you may think they are wonderful but your kids may compare them to their mum/dad so don’t expect it to be easy!
Where to go?
What about taking them for a lunch? That will give them a treat and everybody will be able to relax and hopefully make the meeting successful. A walk in the local park may be a good idea, if you have a pet dog take this as well. A relaxing meeting is far more likely to be successful.
This is a very good time to tell your kids you love them. This a time where you need to make your love and commitment to them clear as much as possible.
How to tell you kids you have split up?
This is very difficult. They may have already been upset by you splitting up with their mum/dad and now it has happened again. The best thing is to sit them down and explain everything to them, let them ask questions and answer them as honestly as you can. Let them know it is nothing to do with them and that sometimes this happens in adult relationships.
Guest post by Alan Murray, webmaster of a baby names site. The site has a wealth of information on not just baby names but Pregnancy tips, Breastfeeding and much more.