The ‘physical’ border between two countries can be defined as a center-less space of oppositions. However, within this real space, exists an ‘imaginary’ border between different nationalities, cultures, and even, a continuous shifting of roles and/or identities, causing the person to take on a chameleon-like lifestyle to fit into that particular setting and culture, where someone is located in that moment. For some people, it is as if it were built-in to our DNA to explore new territories, to move from one place to another, to take-on new identities and languages. Moreover, in modern times, the Internet and software programs like Skype have made it easier for complete strangers to meet on-line and then possibly get together in-person, whether it be for a business meeting for work or just to generally see if it could work-out between the both of them as a couple. Additionally, with the advantage of cheap flights for travelling to and from each other’s countries, it is not as difficult to “break” these borders that divide our continents in the first place.
Ups and Downs of Long-Distance Dating:
Long-distance relationships may not have the same success rate as in-person ones, but that doesn’t mean that they can be as compelling and romantic as an ordinary one. However, these types of relationships can be quite challenging, require an open and positive mindset, and obviously need an abundance of emotional patience. For some people, a beautifully written, hand-mailed letter, an intriguing and conversational chat on Skype, or a monthly, passionately perfect meeting in person may be enough to get them by, but those lonely moments when absolutely no one is around are always heart-wrenching.
Some important benefits of any long-distance relationship offer the ability to genuinely enjoy every moment when together in-person. Another benefit, which is always necessary, is to take a deep breath and have the freedom to make little decisions by yourself, without having to consult with your partner. Another advantage is that annoying, daily habits don’t bother you as much because they don’t occur every day. Obviously, a serious relationship has its boundaries and restrictions, but these types of relationships are liberating and inspiring due to the habitual absence of your partner. In this way, it’s like love at first sight all over again every time your meet at the airport, and in some cases, the butterflies will never stop fluttering their wings.
However, on the other side of the spectrum, the chance that a long-distance relationship not working out is also very possible. Firstly, there is obviously much more of a challenge geographically speaking since the distance between the two partners is always a problem. For some, a daily phone call or video chat isn’t enough. Some people must have their other half present so that the relationship is meaningful and successful. Technology has come a long way with its advances, but it is very difficult to express and show emotion when it comes to text messaging or chatting, and even though video calling or Skype is very common, it is quite depressing not being able to interact with each other physically while merely talking about how you’re feeling at the moment and what you would like to do. In the end, this class of relationship demands a great amount of effort from both parties as well as emotional strength so that both lovers can wait out the next, anticipated encounter.
Making it Work regardless of those ‘Borders:’
In order for a long-distance relationship to thrive, it is necessary that what you feel for each other is 100% real; the butterflies can never fly away. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t met in-person yet because that time will come, or if you have and are waiting on the next meeting. These sorts of genuine feelings of love, desire, faith and positivity will help you to overcome most of the common issues with the distance between by making you feel closer. Intimate and honest emails are always crucial because you can let go of yourself and write exactly what you’re feeling and thinking in that moment.
Additionally, it’s always best to stick to the truth, especially if you haven’t met you supposed lover because it’s would be very disappointing to make all the preparations to meet in-person, and then have to explain why you’ve been making-up stories instead of just revealing who you really are. Also, a hand-written letter or a hand-wrapped package with small surprises sent by mail to your lover is always a plus. Even though it may be old-fashioned, the feelings of excitement to receive something in the mail addressed to you, especially from someone you care about dearly, never fails.
It’s also important to always keep your head up and be optimistic no matter what everyone else says. You know how you both feel about each other, and sometimes, others that don’t share this special, long-distance bond don’t understand your connection or can make you doubt about what your better half is doing across the border. One way to prove that your relationship and deep feelings are real is to leave one or two days in the week that you don’t communicate at all. In this way, if what you have is real, you will truly miss each other’s voice and news of the day, and if not, it will be your sign to possibly end your relationship.
Challenging Decisions and Necessary Sacrifices:
Long distance relationships, at times, will cause difficult, life-changing decisions, hence creating tons of sacrifices. For example, if one person lives in Argentina and the other lives in The United States, and you both want to get married and start a life together, you will both have to decide where this life with children, jobs, etc. will be. Giving up your family, friends, culture, language and everything that comes with your home country can destroy a person emotionally, but if the love and commitment prove to be as loyal as you both claim, then you will have to choose the place that is better for not only the both of you, but for your future family as well. It’s best to discuss this topic early in the relationship or once you know that marriage and children are in the picture. In the end, if leaving your country behind is impossible for the both of you, then you’ll have to find a midpoint or somewhere where you both agree on to live together.
Pure Excitement with Long-Distance Relationships:
Even though long-distance relationships have their downfalls, they never lose their element of surprise or feelings of absolute ecstasy. They can be an excellent self-esteem booster when it comes time to get together because you need to look your best. You could also learn to appreciate the small, insignificant details of life, even with the simplicity of “hello, I’m so glad to see you.” However, if your imagination isn’t equipped for this type of relationship, long-distance relations could become a total disaster. Consequently, for those in favor, borders will never be a conflicting factor. Additionally, once the game of waiting is over for the moment, and you finally see each other at the airport from a distance, the butterflies will begin to flap their wings again, and their invincibility to keep on flying is impossible to shatter.
Author’s bio: SovietLover is a freelance writer based in United States who has researched several dating sites for women since 2005 and participated in the development of several dating events to share experiences and knowledge. He is a keen reader and article writer at Sovietmate Agency (and online CIS dating site), where he wrote several articles about long distance relationship. When he has the time, he enjoys riding bicycle and swimming. He can speak and write English and Spanish languages.