We call it the green monster and we find it so amusing up until it hits us. The problem is that it hits us often, regardless the type of relationship we are involved into. Should things be different when dating online as opposed to offline relationships? It depends on the fears behind our overreaction, yet researchers claim there is a difference…
Jealousy tendencies in the virtual and real world
Psychologists concluded that jealousy triggers vary, with females being more concerned of emotional infidelity and males of sexual infidelity. An evolutionary theory explains that women are more interested in having a supportive partner that will help them and offer them security with raising children while men are more determined for their genes to be passed on.
As these cannot happen when dating over the internet, jealousy regarding online infidelity is no longer motivated. And still, same researchers discovered that such attitudes are maintained even with virtual romances, on a reduced intensity. Therefore, men are more upset about their women having cyber-sex and women are threatened by the idea that their men could emotionally bond with someone else, even if it happens online.
The logical explanation for online jealousy to exist would be the fact that someone’s online behavior may be translated offline. So it is the fear for something virtual to eventually become real.
Aspects of online dating jealousy
Virtual romances can be affected by jealousy in different ways. Assuming that the relationship begun online, the two involved may start doing some individual research on their potential partner. With Google offering so much information, the things they find are not always what they were expecting. So having access to the partner’s activity on specific forums, blogs, communities or online dating websites is both useful and dangerous if the person accessing that information jumps to conclusions or simply misinterprets it.
Speaking of online dating websites, the fact alone that two people who met online and got romantically involved still keep their dating profiles active is often a serious reason of jealousy, even when the partner claims socializing just for fun or out of curiosity.
Noticing that one of the partners maintains virtual contact with an ex is also perceived as threatening and represents a serious reason of distress.
The list of examples is considerably more generous, yet the main idea is that online dating can be even more challenging on this chapter. What a partner does in real life and real time is more difficult to detect or control than what he or she does online. And whoever is interested in finding out, will eventually do so and become jealous.
Getting over it
Some people cannot refrain their jealousy regardless the explanations they receive. Working on having confidence in your partner and focusing on how to strengthen the relationship in every way you can, will bring extra comfort and could ease the problems. However, everything depends on how supportive and sympathetic the two partners are with each other.